Tuesday, May 30, 2006 . 7:51 PM

I hate this freaking blogspot, seriously it should be technically ungraded. Now the page is BLUE, 'Could not connect to Blogger.com. Saving and publishing may fail. Test connection now. Contacting Blogger.com...', and no matter how many times you click on the 'Test connection now' button, it will still remain the same as before. So what help does it do?

I cant stand the frustrations and irritations in me any longer. I think I am developing depression like many other people do. Maybe there would be a second great depression lol. Okay, so how am I suppose to keep optimistic and happy now? *thinks* No idea. I shall just live like how it is.

I do not like changes either. Dont you find it frustrating to keep having to adapt to new changes? They might be big or small. Big changes are the worse. If you cant adapt to it, that's it, you are going to suffer. Well, I guess I'll just have to get used to it. Enjoy what you have right now to the fullest before you regret when you have to change.

*****

Seemed like another long day today, thought it's actually NOT. I got home at 6.30pm, thinking what a long day it had been, but no. I got to school only at around 12.30, and to 6.30 is purely six hours only, unlike those days with lessons. I am feeling tired already. Very.

There was sp till 3 plus before we had main band. During sp, it was quite boring, teaching sec1s and practising pieces. Then surprisingly, we had TEABREAK by which Mrs Wong bought 'brade'(bread) for us. LOL. Okay, another pronounciation. Hmm, from Breadtalk leh. It's nice of her to do that because some people didnt have their lunch. I wonder what would happen if some people like me told her we didnt have our breakfast. But seriously, I dont take any breakfast early in the morning. You might say it's bad for my body, but I used to vomit what I ate so I dont get into the habi of taking it everyday.

In band room when Mr Ng wasnt there yet, the whole band played a piece which was only played by sec3s/4s before. The sec2s sightreaded! Mrs Wong heard us play but didnt believe jaz when she told her many of us only sightreaded lol. It sounded quite nice^^.

OHOH! We'll be getting the choice piece tmr!!! Whee! Excitedness filled me and I cant wait to see how is it going to be like! We practised those pieces and sec1s came in at the last half an hour. Those people who owed Mr Ng played up front and only one sec1 kena today. Sadly, she, too owed Mr Ng two scales. Went home after playing that nice piece again ahha.

Mdm Sau was very funny just now, during falling in time.

Mdm Sau: Who owe Mrs Wong camp fund?
*some people raises hands*
Mdm Sau: Remember to bring tomorrow. Who owe CDs?
*some people raises hands*
Mdm Sau: Also remember to bring tomorrow. And those who cracked the cd cases, the cds belong to you now, so bring money to pay for it. Then who still owes blazers?
*a few people raises hands again*
Mdm Sau: So late already still havent return?! You better bring them tomorrow or your life will be in danger!
*laughter roared*
Mdm: Those people who owes band money, camp fud, cds and blazers bring them tomorrow, or your life will be in great danger!

Hmm, dosent seem to be funny here. It was funnier when you observed it and heard the words right from her mouth haha. Most of the band chers are NICE!^^

Well, well, I dont feel like staying late tonight. Should I go to bed earlier? I wont be able to fall asleep anw, tv too noisey BURH. Right, I go find something else to do, besides doing hw anw.

Monday, May 29, 2006 . 11:05 PM

It is already 11 now and why can I still come online and blog? Ah, that's because band is starting only at 1. Yeaps. So I dont really bother sleeping early, although today was quite tiring.

Due to the Chinese Os today, we had to practice in the audi, which spells EXERCISE. Yeah, why? We had to move instrus from the third storey to first, then move chairs from second to first, and back again after the practice ended. Whew. Aches now filled my whole body. The day did not just end after band. I went to the foodfair at the expo after that. Erhem, there was also drumming between band n food. zz.

During band, there were little tense atmospheres during some times. We practised with the sec1s of those basics initially, with a little singing too(>.<), then followed by main band with sec1s practising on their own, lastly, hearing them play in front of everyone.

The singing part was sort of tuning, and I found it a litte useful. During main band, the trombones very poor thing. Mr Ng was very pissed with them because they didnt know how to play. It is obvious they did not practise over the weekends, but I'm sure some of the other sections too, just that they got away luckily. Lastly during the time when the sec1s did their 'performance', the trombones kena again. Well, they are picked by drawing lots of the SLs and Mr Ng himself, which was a little unfair. Whenever the sec1s have done once, their number was to be put into that drawing box again, which means they might kena AGAIN. That really happened to a few of them. They owed Mr Ng more than a scales usually.

No one knew what was wrong with sx again today. He laughed a lot from the time the sec1s played till lunch. During the time the sec1s played, he laughed because of what the trumpets said. I didnt really hear clearly but it's something like:

(after a sec1 played)
Mr Ng: Okay, you will owe me two more scales, A, E, G and C.
Trumpets: ........................GCE A levels...............................................
sx: HAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
me n val: *stares at him while he continued laughing*

Then there was once which Mr Ng was telling the horns about a horn designer I think, Philip Fakas or sth, then he started laughing non-stop again. He must have ate laughing pills today.....

Uh, okay, then we had part lunch, w/o the sec1s. At KFC. HAHA. Actually some of them wanted to go kampong arang, but kfc won lol. But somehow, I regreted because my sorethroat haf gone a little worse. Ohno, I'll be eating macs with qy for luch =/.

While argueing down the stairs of the place to go, we met Mrs Wong and she asked if we were to go kampong arang. She was like promoting about it lol. Sha had an ulterior motive actually, of asking us to help her dabao fried kuaytiao. HAHA. She was saying KFC is UNHEALTHY, and kuaytiao was a LITTLE UNHEALTHY. Hmm, pork oil vs chicken =.=. LOL. I also bursted out laughing when I learnt a new word from her yet again ^^.

(conver convers convers)
Mrs Wong: .....................................air host-tass....................(hostess)
Me: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA......it's air HOST-TESS
Mrs Wong: *laughs and tried to poke me*

HAHAHA. Yeaps.....hostess = hostass HEEEEE. I am being evil ^^. In the end KFC won, so we set out to kfc, with mrs wong there looking for other targets. haha.

During part lunch was hell again. And sx had to sit dirctly OPPOSITE me. Therefore no idea why he started laughing halfway, I couldnt eat =.=. Then initially the whole table was extremely QUIET. WOW. It's a wonder they could eat w/o feeling king of uneasy. LOL.

After that we went for drumming. Our full strength w/o the co people is 20. YES! TWENTY ONLY. So pathetic. So we discussed what we were going to do and broke up into two groups. Then blah blah blah....time passed. We praced a while. Then, last time, and YAY GO HOME!

So we went home. Hmm. I reached home after 6 I think. My mum asked me if I wanted to go foodfair in expo, and so we went. Okay.....cutting short here. Hmm, I saw Maureen though. Her sis was really different from what I saw from the pic maureen had on her table last yr. I THINK. Yeah, and anw, the aircon was cold!

The part I didnt like was the crowd, with extremely KIASU people. Yes, typical Singaporeans, but those were AUNTIES, so it was damn cham for me. Imagine being shove here and there by FAT aunties. Well, no offence though, they were really blocking up the passage way and shoving people as well. Even worse when they were carrying heavy, bulking bags =.=. Or plastic bags rather.

The part on the bus was also bad. there was an auntie who had LONG hair and was flipping and shaking her head/hair everytime. I was damn pissed. With the bus crowded also, and speed was rather fast, I had a hard time trying to balance myself. LOL. I think when people are shorter, they can balance better. Well, worked for me. When I was shorter, I didnt have such hard time balancing in buses or trains. HEH.

Ah I want to get some sleep liao. So NIGHTS!

Hopefully we can have an early celebration of jaz's bdae before she flies off to perth HAHAHHA. Yeah, I didnt say I din admit about this, jaz ^^. Hmm, ESCAPE! Or whatever, I'm fine with it =D

Sunday, May 28, 2006 . 4:29 PM

Yes yes, holidays have began. So what if holidays are here again, there's still so much hw to be done. And to surprise myself, I actually felt sad when I couldnt do my hw yesterday. I was out the whole day, counting from eleven am to eleven pm. I woke up at ten plus >.<, so there wasnt any proper time to do any hw at all.

Because of that, I did some of my hw today. I was actually rushing! Hoping to finish most of the hw by THIS week. HAH. Doubt I can do it anyway.... I get restless easily, not forgetting, hands getting frequent aches. No idea why, but when they start aching, they will take a while to stop, unlike normal aches. argg.

Hmm, my dad dosent seem to believe me when I told him I was doing my hw. I admit I dont start my hw this early usually, but since I want to change, he could have at least give me some suport right? It was raining heavily just now and I sat in front of the computer to do my hw. I mean, I was using the TABLE in front of the com, if not I would have to do on the floor. There's just no other tables for me to use except the dinning. Then my dad, assuming I was using the com(without looking), he said: 'now raining you still using com?!'(in chi) me: 'NO! I am doing hw!' *No reply*

See. No reply at all. =.=. Well, nevermind about that. but I do get a funny feeling from my parents that they are against my wanting to hw early and getting good results. Well, this is judged by their attitudes given to me. Oh well, no matter what, I WILL do well for the next semester.

And yesterday was quite okay. I was at my uncle's house, with my cousin and adult relatives. Though we were really bored there, we managed to keep ourselves occupied. Then, we went to Lot 1 shopping mall to shop for a while. I bought Jolin'a album in the end, leaving myself w/o any money left. So I guess I would have to save some money from the allowance from the next three days. Yeah. Sad. Second holiday w/o much money to spend.

Nowadays, unlike last time, I have very little to spend during the holidays. I had like only $15 for this holidays when I usually would have $50. I do save money for holidays, you know. ZZZ. Feeling kinda sad. Sigh. Dont know what's wrong with me now.

Hmpf. I feel like eating. I am hungry.

*****

Oh yeah. GOOD LUCK TO ERINA for tmr's Chinese Olevels!

Friday, May 26, 2006 . 10:13 PM

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY HOMEWORK OMG. The teachers are just out to torture us and make our lives horrible even during the nice long holidays. THEY ARE SO CRUEL. HAHA.

Well, it's not their fault, I guess. There is just too many subjects. You see, if there was only two hw given by each subject teacher, and there's only five subjects maybe, there would be only ten hw!!!! Now I counted, I have 21 assignments to do. WTH.

I am going crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL. Not first time anw. I have gone crazy mny times before till I got used to it? T_T

Ah there wasnt much today. We skipped most of the lessons after recess today^^ and we were let off at ONE WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Then it was band. Well, we got the pieces which we are going to play at botanic gardens and practised them. There's MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!! LOL. Very nice!!!! And erm there's a piece called Conzensus that's also very very nice! The horn parts are anw. LOL.

Hmm....I am supposed to change my horn. Argg. Second time already. But I dont want! I suppose I still must. =((. Well, I dont like the cupboard jaz's horn is occupying bleh. Seems a bit cluttered with things. Hahah. I still like my horn now. LOL. Nic dosent want to change cos I dowan....she's so nice! So lucky of me to have such nice part mates. Yeah nice seniors too larh. =/

Ah...go do hw liao. Nic pia like siao...so shd I ^^. GOODNIGHT!

Thursday, May 25, 2006 . 9:09 PM

Oh well, this is the 160th entry. What should I start with? Today was quite a tiring day. I feel so tired I dont feel like watching my anime today. Very surprising? But my eyes are really tired, what can I do. I think I am going to get sick soon. Well, I'll explain why later.

PE was fun I can say, and we played Captain's Ball. The whole class was divided into playing different games like bball for guys, vball and cball for girls I guess. Me, qy, kh, hwee2, jessica, yuleng and melody are in one team and the other consists of liyang, yujie, jiaqian, drey, melinda, yanghua and linyun. Apparently the opposite team has a higher chance of winning, cause they had yanghua and melinda. I think both of them are good and their team works quite well.

Hmm, I'm not saying that my team wasnt good, but both were about the same. In the end, I wasnt sure which team won, but many of them said my team won^^. Well, I scored 80% of the goals haha. No la...just that i think I scored quite a lot. More than what I would have scored usually. but perhaps because this game was an hour long =.=. I might grow taller though, I was jumping the whole way and ran around the whole area. TIRING.

So you see, the day started out tiring too. It just got worse as time passed by. More energy was used of course. But it was very fun! And yeah I love liyang and yujie AHAHA. That was because I was trying to block them, so it turned out I was 'sticking' to them lol. liyang actually had two admirers HAHA. Oh and one part was very funny. qy and jiaqian were chasing after the direction of the ball where it was going to land, but instead of getting the ball, it landed and bounced off both their heads haha. But jiaqian's team got it. LOL.

Hmm, so enough of the excitement. Just thinking of it I think I would have lost some fats just running and jumping around that much at that time. Ohno, I had macs today =.=. Hmm, more fats. AHA. I'm not particularly concerned about it, but it seemed very bad to some ppl ;).

Oh well, everyone was in the holiday mood today and no one was really interested in studying, so the mood was quite dead, except during history. Mrs wong was funny. She made us copy chunks of answers to the assignment we did and our hands were aching like hell. haha. then we chatted. as in the whole class.

Right, then after school I went for sp, along with yz, nic and jh, plus sx who appeared later on. Obviously we didnt really play and practise. Maybe only sx did. We were chatting and discussing about some stuff. Oh well. Nothing much already.

Then, went gallivanting with qy, yx and kl. lol. They were going to buy present for Linette and I just tagged along as I thought maybe I would need to buy some bdae present too. But too bad I found nothing much to buy with that small sum of money that I had. hmm, we went pp, then looked for some aquarium shops near my house but none of them sold terapins, of not sold out. SAD.

I went tm with qy later on. At minitoons, I bought a Harry voodoo mini. LOL. It's cute! It's for studies. So I hope I can improve and get much better results. Yeah. Hmm...oh right. i dunno why and how some couple can behave so intimidately in public places. Well, on the ride home on an sbs bus, there was a couple, malay, who were sitting near me. What they did disgusted me. The guy was like laying his head on the girl's shoulder and hugging her like a teddy bear. Then they were like kissing. WTH. Didnt they realise there were little innocent people around them. No it's not only me, but some other kids were also watching them. Idiots right. Crap.

*****

Argg. I am now sure that not only a few persons have depression, but quite a lot. Not to mention, everyone of us are stressed out totally. No one can give up as it would mean to end one's life. Other than that, no one had any solution to it. Right?

Nonononono, I cant die, I'm too young, people will think. Then, why still even think of suicide in the first place. Some people are afraid to die therefore dont dare to. That's not the point you get it. It's not because you are scared, it is just that you know you dont want to. You still want to live, accomplish things you want to, enjoy life. Yes you know you want to.

*****

I hate VJ. It caused a lot of problems here and there and everywhere. Not to say, IP too. But once changes are made, life may be better, so I'm wiching for the better. For everyone else, hopefully you'll think thrice before you leave. Once you are out, you can never get in again. Why waste time, money and whatever just to get some so-called freedom? It dosent even promise you with jc life, just no teacher teaching only. You may not hand up hw, but what all these do only make you worse right. Perhaps it is okay for some people, but not all I think. If you cant coop, that's it. Goner.

You may think I'm crazy. Suit yourself.

*****

Mixed feelings are confusing. Too much in my mind, causing it to go haywire. If only I had an amnesia. Ohno, that's worse. What else? Die

Wednesday, May 24, 2006 . 5:23 PM

WHAT THE HELL?! I cant even vent off all my leftover angers in here and have my mind off the anger I had inside me since just now. WTH. I cant type those !!@&*^@#&amp;^#&*@#*&!&#@ w/o the underlined!WTH LORH.

Freaking hell. But it was nice to have SOMETHING to vent your anger on! Wahaha. Okay, imagine you were angry with two of your on of your closest friends yet you dont want to vent your anger on them, you know not what you can vent your anger on. Later, something you hate a lot came in and started hanging around(IT is supposed to be there).

You did pay attention to the teacher and listened to what you were told. But you were bored of the survey, cause it was just a matter of raising your hand some times. You took out an about-to-be finished homework and TRIED to finish it, but IT came and BIT off your work. You got angry and pissed. Therefore, you stopped paying attention to the teacher. You stopped doing what you were supposed to do.

Issent that ANIMAL stupid? Stupid enough to take your things. It would be much better if IT just left you alone and finish it in about two sentences. SO STUPID AHHAAHAAA. I have never seen an ANIMAL stupider than that. AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA.

~~~

Hope you will DIE faster w/o me killing you

Hope you get KICKED off the school

Hope you get CURSED by everyone in the world

And I am going to do that NOW! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT. DONT EVER LET ME SEE YOU AGAIN. I WONT RESPECT YOU NO MATTER WHAT. YOU JUST SUCK LIKE NOBODY ELSE DOES. NO ONE WILL EVER LIKE YOU IN THIS WORLD(OH YEAH NOWONDER YOU ARE STILL SINGLE). YOU AND YOUR RUDE MANNERS. YOU AND YOUR BUCK TEETH. YOU AND YOUR UGLY NOSE. YOU AND YOUR BAD POSTURE. YOU FATSO. *EVIL LAUGH* HAVE ANYONE EVER SAID YOU SUCK? EHH NO? WONDER WHY.

~~~

I was being evil and bad. Yes I know all that. I dont care who reads this post. The earlier part was in tiny font because it sounded really bad and cruel. Therefore you may choose not to read it. No one asked you to read anw. OMG I am really evil. WAHAHA.

*****

Oh I forgot to blog yesterday. Hmmz..I shall do that now. Ah have I ever told you there's a bird nest in one of the plants outside my house? Well, I took a picture of it. However, I didnt manage to take the bird, because it was flying really fast to be taken on a camera.

The bird nest XD

Haha. It's rather cute. The bird is too. So far I havent seen or heard anything from inside the nest =/. Blee. Hope I can hear small birds calling ^^.

Monday, May 22, 2006 . 9:23 PM

Think, thinking, yet still thinking. Why am I still thinking so much? Nothing seems to be getting out of my mind. My mind is still as 'cluttered' as before. What should I do? Everything's of my concern nowadays, even the slightest thing I can think of. Think think think....what if my brain burst someday? Ohno....

The fact that causes me to think so much is mostly of school stuff. Anything that has got to do with school, has something that I need to think about, be it school work or projects, or even cca. Ah well, I think I think too much already. Time to change!

I wonder if I can change out of this so-called bad habit. Well, it is a bad habit for me though. Serious! It may cause depression. It may be really bad. Wahaha. I sound evil. Hmm, putting thoughts to it(still thinking, sigh), I should prioritise things I should concentrate on. Yes I shall do that.

Basically, the most important thing to me now is STUDIES. I want to beat many people. I found out I got 65%, which is just right for taking triple science and one humans. Argg. I must work harder. This is serious. I have got only ONE A1, ONE A2, ZERO B3, SIX B4 and ONE C5. How sad can these marks be. Wth. And yet I missed a lot of B3s. For the next half of the year, I'm going to PASS every test. I want to get ZERO C5s, and not more than FOUR B4. Can I do it? YES. If I dont do it I dont know what to do. Maybe i'll go jump down the building or something. Okay larh, just joking. Hmm. I want to get good results. I want to get a higher overall %, and beat a lot of people! Very ambitious heh. But if I dont try to beat them this time, I may not get to do so after that. Split classes DUH.

Right. Very ambitious of me. I dont feel like studying for tmr's math test anw. YES. There sre still tests on the LAST week of the term. Are the teachers out to torture us or what? SIAN can. There's also Chinese test on Friday. I must PASS that test. Anyway, I wonder if I can pass a math test on Simultaneous equations w/o studying. I have no idea what to study on haha.

Hmm...Anw, there was the InE bazaar, and we put in those we finished after that, as in after the lessons. And we sold a lot!! We actually made a profit of $12.50!!! Whoo! So happy! HAHA. INE IS FINALLY OVER! WHOO! Well, there is actually one more lesson =.=. On wed. =.=. CRAP.

And hmm...nvm...shall not think too hard. Sigh. I go study liao. Nights.

Sunday, May 21, 2006 . 10:43 PM

Hmmz...nothing much happened today. I was just doing usual stuff to pass my time. It seemed to be a long day, but I spent the time quite wisely. First, I finished all the work I was supposed to finish I guess, especially that DnT. I didnt do English though, cos I didnt bring back my textbook. Hah.

Best thing was to use my com. Not many people were online. But I spent almost the whole time watching Hunter X Hunter hahaha. I cleared 16 episode today. Amazing har. LOL. Imagine sitting in front the com for erm 8 hours. Each episode was about 30min rounded off. It was exciting though. I mean the anime.

At least I found a good way to watch the anime continuously, within waiting too much. As I watched it from youtube, it takes a while to load, and a little longer my this com. No idea why, but anw it wasnt bad. It is better than spending money buying the vcd.

Even though ppl told me many parts are cut of a story in animes, but I was attracted by it when I watched a few parts of it on the sms buses last yr when I took bus to sch early in the morning for band camp. HAHA. Well, I couldnt do that everyday during the holidays right? So obviously by the starting of this yr, this had ended and stopped showing already. Now that I thought of searching it and watching it online, it is much better.

Well, I guess I'm supposed to be in bed now. It is 10 plus. And I am having a terrible stomachache or sth...I dunno how to spell zzz....lau sai haha. Ok la...see if I can make it to sch tmr. If not I'll just go see doctor and get a day off. Haha. Mainly cos InE is gonna steal the time off band. yeaps.

So nights!

Saturday, May 20, 2006 . 8:33 PM

Whoo! I have never ever felt so accomplished before! I tried The Wicked Junior and finished it! It consists of 30 levels and they are much easier to solve than The Wicked if you are good in English and Logical thinking in a sense.

Some of the answers are very qian bian though =/. Haha. Most of those english english type on answers were helped by qy. LOL. My english isnt good can. If only it was good haha. I liked these type of riddle solving. There are quite okay for me. But I think there are more out there too difficult for me haha.

Yeaps. I love The Wicked Junior and The Wicked! Haha. Oh and I'm still stuck at level 34 in The Wicked. zzz. Cant seem to solve it. a little lazy too. Hmmz....people please help!

Whoo! Shall go sleep early tonight. Yes I shall try. Whoo! I have never ever felt so accomplished before! I tried The Wicked Junior and finished it! It consists of 30 levels and they are much easier to solve than The Wicked if you are good in English and Logical thinking in a sense.

Some of the answers are very qian bian though =/. Haha. Most of those english english type on answers were helped by qy. LOL. My english isnt good can. If only it was good haha. I liked these type of riddle solving. There are quite okay for me. But I think there are more out there too difficult for me haha.

Yeaps. I love The Wicked Junior and The Wicked! Haha. Oh and I'm still stuck at level 34 in The Wicked. zzz. Cant seem to solve it. a little lazy too. Hmmz....people please help!

Whoo! Shall go sleep early tonight. Yes I shall try. 'Quotes' in my mind are ringing again and again. Whenever I thought of them, negative thoughts came to my mind as well. Nothing can turn me positive about these 'quotes'. So obviously, these 'quotes' are said by people directly to me or to people around me as well.

"People around you care about you"

"You should be lucky to be able to live in the 21st century"

"You should respect people"

"You should spare a thought for people around you"

"It is for your own good"

"You must study hard and get a good job in future"

"Dont talk to much in class and pay attention to your teacher"

"Another forgetful one"

Well, some of them arent really quotes that I was talking about, but I was reminded of those that I didnt really bother about. Those quotes that I hated seemed to have disappeared from my mind, so whatever.

*****

So whats the use of saying all that. I was going to spend less time on it, but what you have done and what she have said only made me want to rebel. EVEN MORE. You know I dont like to follow orders like I was supposed to. When you command me to do one thing, you know I would do another, or do it wrongly. Yes I am like that and NOTHING can change me.

I love the way it is now. I dont stay up till two three on the morning nowadays, even though I could have done that and spend the time on useful stuff instead of flipping and turning in my bed, not able to sleep. Even if I get to bed as early as 9, I wouldnt fall asleep till about 1 to 2 in the morning. I look at the clock above me.......10.....still 11....12 already.......zzz.....

You see....you dont understand me. You just dont. You tried but they were unsuccessful. There is just nothing you can do about this I guess, if not it wouldnt be like this now. Now I get why tv programmes and movies always focused on these kind of messeges to be brought to everyone.

To rebel or not to rebel. Well, it is not those kind of rebellions that I'm staging. I have been rebelling in case you dont know. They are just not obvious. I dont do things that are either. To prove I can actually do well, I shall study hard. It is not because of you. If you have never done such thing, perhaps I would work harder, maybe. I dont like people telling me what to do. Not when I disliked doing something.

When I wanted you to be with me, you were almost never there. When I want to be alone, you would be there. How irritating it that. How I wish we can be like last time. It is impossible. Both of you just dont understand.

It is such a pleasant scene of a couple bringing their little one out. To be together for dinner, just to shop, or even buying things for the young one. It seems to show that the little one is so fortunate. It just shows how innocent they are, listening to whatever was told to them, and lead a happy life until they finally start to go into life. They learn about life, what they are going on in life.

Till then, it will always be happy. When you know too much, you will start to get stressed and become depressed. How sad is life. Life is always unfair. Nothing is perfect in life. No happy endings or what-so-ever. Everything's too good to be true.

*****

There is no reason I should obey what you have told me. I believe there is no reason. What you have said only made the situation worse. No more shall I say.

*****

It's fun twisting the phrasing of a sentence I realised. Keeping my self contented with what I have is what I'm trying to do here. To make me feel better, despite of what had happened, is wht can keep me going to achieve my goals. Believing in myself is important.

Shall say no more. Tired of this world. What Three Sciences + One Humanity.......Electives.......SICK.

Opened my eyes and found myself in heaven. What a warm welcome.

Friday, May 19, 2006 . 8:30 PM

What a day...I have been thinking too much....recently. Most of things that I was worrying about finally can go. Things happen quickly nowadays.

The last time thinking back, I thought March holidays have just ended and now, June holidays are coming. Only one week left to hols. How great is that? I would love the break I can get. I want to get away from work. School work. Nevertheless, we have our holiday homework, which piles up like a mountain. More and more are coming. They seem to be never-ending. I even doubt I have the time to play maple like what my friends asked me to.

People may think June is a long holiday which stretches to a month. That, to me, isnt long at all. Not knowing the reason, I just feel that it is still too short, for people like myself. Only the December holidays is just right. It dosent seem too long. But remember, time passes quickly. The moment you start to countdown for something, the faster it seems to be arriving.

Since time passes quickly, some things that are worried for are gone. Yes, GONE. Hopefully no more may come. For example, most of the results are out. Nothing can change them. No matter how upset I am, it cannot be change. I can only work hard the next round and do well. Aim for my goals. Like yz said, after June hafta mug. lol. I heard it wrongly at first. aha.

So I have gotten to know both my best and lousiest results so far. They are Math and Chinese respectively. Math is a definite A1 to me, and if i dont get an A1 for it, I'm gonna kill myself. however, this year's A1 is a LOW one. 83 may not sound low to you, but it is to me....my math. It seems to only apply to that. Next, Chinese. Like Math, it is my one and only. But it is the opposite. My one and only C5. Sad.

This time, the results are not up to my own expectation, neither to my parents'. I MUST work harder. Does that sound famaliar to you? Well, but I'm different. I am not that hard working, so you cant really expect much from me. Yes, why wouldnt I admit that I'm lazy, since it is already quite obvious, I believe. Just as much.

I used to score well in order to beat people I hated. Anger can change things, you know. This time, people that I dislike are not really better than me, and I found no one to hate, so I have nothing to work against. Hmm...sounds weird to you ya? Oh whatever. I am going to work hard. Have some goals to achieve.

*****

It was the handing-down or something, during band today. We didnt practice at all. We heard the choice pieces of YCK and ours, and also compared them. Then we watched the video of our performance on RHYTHM 20. I would say yz plyed well^^. Anyway, we only wateched the first three movements of Gilgamesh, nothing else. Well, the CD they had there was sort of faulty? hah.

Then, we did the band dance. It was m first time doing it as I didnt go for the similar event like this last year due to being ill I think. Nic and qy were telling me about 'disappear' once again, thinking we might be playing today. But we didnt. Hmm, the sec1s re lucky this year?

Then, there was the cake cutting ceremony. All those were small ones. But the cake was definitely delicious! I loved the chocolate! And the syrup? Er what do you call that. Well, its coloured and is very very sweet. Blue and yellow haha.

So it was finally the announcement of the committee. Plus we got pictures of us in Rhythm and the ethnic drumming. I guess the results this time is good. Nobody(so far) has any bad comments about it. Everyone(so far) is satisfied I guess.

It seemed like the last committee work quite well together, and actually disaplined the band quite okay. So now, it is up to the new batch of committee! I think it takes a little time for the new chairperson to get used to it ^^. Time will be given HAHA.

So now, I'm okay with everything there. I went chao high and cheered a lot =). Despite the fact of having anger in me wahaha. Well, it's not that serious la.

So what kind of a friend is it that can pangseh their friends so many times a day and even not apologise when they have injured their friend? HMM....*thinking*

Thursday, May 18, 2006 . 6:39 PM

Phew....teachers are getting us to confirm our CA marks recently, and today was of the most results. I had recorded all my marks so far that I had gotten back except art. Art results were given the earliest which I forgot to record. It dosent matter much to me anyway.

So far I had all B4 and above. So far I didnt fail my aim for this semester. So far I am okay with my results. So far I have only one A2 and it is the highest of all I have know and it is SCIENCE.

If I never remembered wrongly, I didnt do well in Science last year. However, this year I improved tremendously. I said if I wasnt wrong. If I was wrong, then I have deproved in many subjects. Unless there was still improvement in this one. Okay...I dont know what am I saying.

I felt bad knowing my Math marks. I had calculated what Mr Hia wanted us to and I got 75/90! Shit....that was BAD....way lousier then I had thought I would have gotten. I am starting to lose faith in myself.

I dont feel like studying anymore. It's a torture to me. After knowing I have at least gotten some presentable marks in some of my tests, I was glad and began confiding in how I have done well. Then, someone just had to compare and comment. That was another reason which made me worse.

Hmmz...I shouldnt be pessimistic, should I? Shall recover soon, dont worry...its just the matter of the CA results. Hopefully I wont fail my Chinese, or any other subjects. Thats all I'm asking.

Oh yes! I finally cleared mysit n reach to get a gold for Napfa^^. Stretched like siao but in the end I still got 38 zzz. At least it was a C can.

Had sp with jh and yz today. Didnt practice much actually. We read a little through the Art of French Horns. Yeah. Later on I went with Jaz to Bugis, with Yuru too. Hehe. *eyes twinkling*

Lala. No hw cept for a pathetic Science which I forgot what am I supposed to do with it. Heh. Shall go find out. Yeah...so cya!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006 . 4:03 PM

I cant believe I actually forgot to blog yesterday Y_Y. For no reason at all, I didnt blog. I mean, I was online for like...12hours yesterday if I'm not wrong. Oh well, the time spent on the com wasnt actually 12 whole hours, as I had to eat my breakfast, lunch plus dinner, and even bath or something.

Anyway, not much 'harm' was done w/o blogging for a day. This is the 151th entry already. For the first time, my blog entries have gone over 100 anyway, the last 2 blogs that I had were total failure I should say. Hah.

How did I kill time yesterday, you might wonder. No, I stayed home the whole day. Almost went out, actually, but it seemed like no one in the section was free except me n yz? zz. She didnt want to go out because two persons not fun ahaha.

As you would know, I spent the whole time on the com. But the question is, doing what? What is so interesting on the com that can let me not get bored? Well, there's always maple and o2jam, but I didnt touch them at all, though my friend asked me to play, but I totally forgot about it >.<. Hahas. There was a story called Firebird which qy introduced me. It has 65 pages and I had only read to the 34th. I also played a thinking game called The Wicked. It is about solving riddles to get to the next level. But it was sort of copied from another game but I couldnt find it. Anyway, I'm currently stuck at level 34. It is best if anyone can help me^^.

I forgot what else did I do, but mostly were those two above. Maybe chatting on msn too. Hmmz...oh yeah I read a bit of my comics too. Haha. Now about today.......

I think I am going to flunk my Chinese this year. So far, I have broken my records of failing, not on my chinese, but on all subjects. I had never failed continuously for each chinese test before. I have never failed so much in a year either. The first time I ever failed an exam/test was when I was p5. That time was my higher chinese, first test. Then the next time I failed a test was last year. Haha. This year cham already. T_T. Hopefully I will do well for future tests. If not I'm going to get lousy results and get scolded. *sob*

I dont blame my parents for scolding me if I never do well in any of my subjects. They arent strict with me and they give me quite a lot of freedom. I can study on my own and they gave me a choice of whether to have tuition or not. My answer is of course no. I wont want to waste time on that. I believe in listening to teachers in school and study on my own. If I dont know or dont understand something, I would seek help from people I know. My parents cant help me much as they didnt have much education. Though my mum can teach me chinese, I rather not as she seemed to teach in a chim way T_T. I realised I had never had any tuition in my life. Not once. I feel proud of that haha. Managing studies on my own is okay for me.....so far....

The only thing I dont like about my dad is that he expects me to know everything, assuming I have learnt everything in school. For example, computers. I have never had any lesson on computers and neither do the school teach us. How did I know how to handle one? Well, the only thing about me is that I can learn fast and can just watch someone do something and I can learn to do it almost immediately. The first time I used a computer was around pri2. That was when my cousin had her first computer and I whenever I go to her house, I would learn something new about it there. Then my pri school let us go to computer labs, therefore also learnt a bit here and there. That was how I learnt to use the functions in a com. I only had my own com in pri4 which is still here with me till now^^. I love my com=)).

Well, I dont think I can live long w/o my com, but I can actually haha. Remember there were a few periods of time when my com spoiled lol. I lived through all that too. The longest was 6mths plus w/o one in pri6. That made me concentrate more on my studies to get better results than I usually got in that year ^^.

I realised for the first time that I can survive one week w/o a refrigerator ahaha. The refrigerator in my house was one year older than me, so it was here in my house since 1991. HAh. And it spoiled last thu if I dont remember wrongly. The new fridge arrived today 10 in the morning. It is SILVER haha. Not that kind of really metallic silver larh...but its still NICE.^^

Hmmz. I will still miss the old fridge. I was TALLER than it. Now this new fridge is TALLER than me boohoo!

Theres no hw today, so I shall slack..hahah...cya then!

Monday, May 15, 2006 . 10:45 PM

Hmmz...today was fine I guess, having the first DnT lesson of this yr...was erm...boring....haha....anw all those stuff I learnt last yr were forgotten! WHOO! lols.

Also had SPA test. Hopefully I wont fail... Hmmz...nth much.

Till band after sch.... The sec4s...well, most of them, were not here. Then the sec1s were having their 2.4 run. Yeah, but there was indoor anw. Mr Ng us the method to learn scales faster and easier, but alot of PATIENCE is needed. Well, you can say it's a little boring, but I find that method quite useful anw.

Ah I'm out of stuff to blog. Many things are just going inside my mind. But nth seems to be blogable. ZZ. And tmr I'm gonna be bored to death. SAD. ah well, till here..cya!

Sunday, May 14, 2006 . 8:09 PM

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Whoo! I began to enjoy today when I had Pizza for dinner lol! My dad ordered it for my mum la....and she told me she received the letter the school helped us send to our homes haha. Well, plus I gave her cakes to eat lala.

So there was a Supreme pizza, drumlets and hashbrowns(starry munchies)! They were all equally nice^^. But I broke the will of not eating heaty food =/. Ah well, what's done is done lol. But I am going to drink lots of water!!! I'll become a water bucket^^.

Blah. I forgot what I was supposed to blog about other than this....nvm...when I think of it I'll blog again ltr...cyaz Ohno...what did I do to make Nic cry....T_T...I did mention in the post anything there wasnt refering to anyone....serious!

Well, I have always trying to be optimistic about acceptance, in the way of trying to accept people that I cant. I think I have accepted most of them, but not this one. This person is a guy, whom I am not really related to. You dont to know who he is, but those who know he is dosent read my blog anw.

Well, I dont really know the reason why I just cant accept him. He is somewhat supposingly to be mature. Can you imagine an eighteen years old GUY being childish? Not mature in mind nor actions? Well, of course I can. I have seen him...twice in fact. Well, I dont wish to know him in the first place. But I had to. Reason? You dont need to know Y_Y.

The first impression he gave me was....childish. Maybe you can say he hasnt learn much during his eighteen years in life, for he is only a PSLE graduate. How can he be? I have no idea. Neither does the middle person knows. The middle person refers to the one who knows both him and me.

Childish being, he does many things adults wouldnt. Well, still in puberty? Maybe? No idea. There's something in his looks that I dont like either....qian bian look? Maybe so too. His words pisses me off too. For example, when I talk on the phone, he would say, 'are you talking to the phone? Hello? Hello?' Childish right?! I cant stand his actions neither. He would mimick people. I mean most people do that, but his is just very pissing.

He is of course irritating, not that he must be, but borned to be I guess. Everything about him just dosent let me accept him. He is not responsible, nor anything right to me. And why do I have to know him? Because of that middle person.

Why does she have to know this person in the first place? I am wonder. How did she even know this guy. WTH. Cant be in school cause he is eighteen. She is fifteen. WTH. He is not studying neither working, so what is he doing? Playing everyday, hanging out with bad company? NO IDEA. Dont ask me. I dont know what he is, neither do I want to know.

The only thing is I am worried about the middle person. She is very......how should I put it? Well, the main topic issent about her anw. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

I dont know how to accept this kind of person. I dont wish to either, but I must sometime....in the future.....*lost in my thoughts* You must be thinking, why am I still awake at this time now? It's late already yet I'm still not bed, sleeping and dreaming. Well, the simple reason is...I cant fall asleep. In fact I dont even feel any tiredness. My eyes are still working fine, they are not closing at all. Hopefully this can last till I finish my post.

There was the performance at Sentosa today. For me, I didnt think it was great at all. I was still praying and hoping it will turn out good. I tried my best, but no matter how I tried, I cant reach those high notes I used to be able to play nicely. Perhaps it was due to the lack of practice ever since my ear was blocked and I couldnt hear properly.

Not all seniors were present. Maybe they were sick. For horns, yz and val were not here. Sad to say. The trumpets didnt sound very right either. At least there was still someone who helped us. We played Tong Hua and it just didnt sound the same w/o yz.

The whole time I was thinking, what if the sec4s really left and we were alone, all by our own. Can we survive? I wonder. Maybe. Maybe not.

Another important person wasnt there with us either-Mrs Wong. She is sick. Her eye may even go blind. I think she shouldnt have gone msia. Perhaps if she had stayed in sg, she might be better than how she is now. God bless she will be fine, recover quickly and join us back again. Well, no more stress for her...hopefully...

Suddenly my writing is so serious....I have no idea why. Now it seems like there are many thoughts in my mind, not sorted out. In midst of confusion, I know not what I should say. Forget it then.

I think I am allergic to BK food. Whenever I eat from there, I will get sick, in a way or another. Usually I'll vomit the next day, but not this tie I guess, I had a nose bleed. Urgg. No more heaty food for me. At least not for these 2 or 3 days.

Random again.

Shucks.

I am getting more random than ever.

Does thinking of suicide means you have a depression? Well, thats bad I guess, some people have it. People around me. Yeap, not actual refering to anyone, but yes, to people around me. Please think carefully before your actions and think before your words.

I dont have much to say now. Think going to bed is a better idea. Good night.

Friday, May 12, 2006 . 1:18 PM

The ultimate sec2 level camp has ended yesterday! It is also the second Adventure Camp I have ever gone in my life! The last time was during my p6 camp which I forgot which camp we went ahaha... This time is it at the Sarimbun Scout Camp! A 4days 3 nights camp.......With 18 groups, a to r. Adrian, Bond, Chaoren, Darlie, Echo, Fiesta, Gaga, Hi-5, Ice Scream, Justea, King Kong, Legends, Monarch, Noobz, Oreo, PRO, Quality Control, Rabbit (Roar).

First let me introduce you to my group! It is.....GROUP Pro!

gimme one clap!
*clap*
gimme two claps!
*clap* *clap*
gimme eleven claps!
*clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap*

one two three three two one
group p group p number one
four five six six five four
group p never lose before

gimme eleven claps!
*clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap*

pro pro rock and roll
and whip you like a potato
so............................lets go go go!
*cheers*

P.S Our clappings are the best of all groups! All thanks to our instructor ALAN!

Whoo! Know why our clappings are unlike the other groups which may have sounded like bird shit(ops) dropping? It is because of our practise! WHOO!

We won the most PRO-active group ahahah! We are PRO! WHOO!

So now my group members!
Leaders: Yi Hui & Marcus
Memebrs: Cindy JieQi Michelle KiaHin jiaYi Beverly ChingShia Lynette Victoria Jeenise WenYi Zona YeLing April Evan Matthew WeiCong YuShang MingXiang plus myself!

Yeaps, so we had fun together for the last four days! And we combined with Group Oreo for our campfire item! Most of the games were also played together larh....we are the OP! WHOO!

OP OP drink kopi
with roti prata and curry
Go............OP!

LOLS...the cheer invented by Marcus! Haha!

So now, the activities! Here we go!

Day ONE
We reached school at normal time, the different thing was that everyone was lugging heavy and big bags haha...we assembled in our different grouping too. The sec3s werent there, they assembled in the basketball court, so we have more space!lols. Later on we boarded buses, guess what?! Since we were the last group to leave(grp r and s left earlier..) we had one bus to ourselves! HAHA! Five of us, Jeenise, Michelle, Yi Hui, kh and me sat at the back of the bus haha. We reached there and had a briefing before pitching up the tents. We were introduced to our instructors, and of course ours was Alan! Then we went to pitch tents...Well, it was hard work but we did it! So we had our lunch and we created our group flag. The food was okay...no comments yet. Oh erm cept the drink is diluted..reminded me of hostel drink... Anw our flag has the words PRO on it. P was coloured by our thumbprints and O was a little student! haha..With big head and small body lols.

Next up was activity one, team building games. Well, it was the start of groupwork...and we did quite well..we had obstacles journey next. Had to go through some stuff like low wall, swinging bridge?, suicide window and low beam...i think... haha..best and easiest was swinging bridge...haha..Then we had rockwall climbing. The last time I tried rock climbing I went right to the top, but that wall was like 3/4 the height of this one. For this one, I got around a bit more than half??And I dropped at the exact same place where kh dropped haha. We were stuck there, with no good rocks to hold on. Well, there was a big space w/o any rocks, then followed by three rocks. First rock...too far away. Second rock...no holes to grasp, when grabbed will fall. third rock...too round. So I tried holding on, then still dropped as the rock was too slippery...sad right, if not can go higher..haha.

After that we went to wash up, later had our dinner. Slept at 11 plus after bathing...well, it was too noisey at the campsite, with people still talking, so I slept very late....was woken up by mosquitoes zzz. Didnt sleep well.

Day TWO
Bread for breakfast after the morning exercise. Then we went for our first wet activity, which is River Challenge. We were lucky to have all wet activities in a day, unlike some other groups. River challenge is at the Pond Milo, where alot of people say have many creatures living in it, and when you finish the activity, your shoes would be ruin. That was totally WRONG. First, I found no creatures in it =.= and when I finished the activity, my shoes were very CLEAN. zzz. No idea why, but my shoes are not canvas, for canvas the shoes would turn a little brown. We had to build a raft using tubes, poles and ropes. Then we had to send a person to go opposite of the pond to tie a rope there, and we have to travel thru the water taking the raft. Four persons can go at once, excluding the one person who can come and go for each ride haha. Sound like the driver hah. So the 'driver' was marcus, and the rest of us took turns going onto the raft. For my turn, I had Michelle, Beverly and Cindy going with me. We reached the opposite side safely^^.

Later was Nature Ramble, the dirtiest and nature-going activity. We were taught the ways of escaping from wild boars and bees before that. Haha. Ok theres a lame joke. When I see wild boar scared what? Just use Magic Claw can liao. HAH. Okay nvm. So when you see a wild boar, you have to run zig-zag way and best is to climb a tree if you see one. When theres a bees attack, you have to lie on the ground face down and out your hands on ur neck and cross ur legs haha. You know the reason? So we had one bees attack 'drill'=.=. Later on we stood by the gate leading to the area we going and saw rs coming out if I am not wrong. They were covered in mud, clothes were all dirty. Everyone went omg...lols. We entered the place still. We walked thru a strech of long grass area leading to the mud stream. It was BLACK and stinky. We stepped into it...even sat down in it some more. ZZZ. I only minded the smell. It was fun being in mud which I would never imagine ever doing that. Parents never allow do they? Then we walked on, careful not to slip. It that led to a water stream. The water was transparent and clean at first! So everyone tried to clean their hands and shoes. It was no point actually, cause we were going to tread thru more muddy waters. Well, last time when I saw these kind of waters elsewhere, I wanted to try walking in them, so now I get the chance! I really enjoyed it! I dont like the part where you see many pond skaters surrounding you, it seems like you are being cornered. It was a really cool experience for me. We also saw dragonflies and other creatures during that treading. There was also some pink eggs on branches coming out of water, but I dunno wad eggs are they. Some said they were dragonfly eggs, but some say were water snails. Anw qy said the insect was bimbotic or sth...pink lols. After that, we got to 'bath' in a big river haha. But I got bitten by flies T_T. You wouldnt know they were standing on your legs initally, only when you feel a sharp pain then you know where it was. I think I killed one fly anw, to my surprise. I put my leg down into the water with my hands cupping water and flushing it onto my leg so it had no chance of escaping. HAH!

After we walked back to the camp, we rested for a while and continued the next activity. It is the Saint Challenge course, three games-king of the hill, tp shuffle and trolley. King of the hill was to climb up a canvas sheet with detergent water coming down, on a hill of course. It aws quite hard but after the first person went up, it was easy. Trolley was just five persons satnding on two wooden planks with ropes to move along. It just requires alot of cooperation. As for tp shuffle, we did during last yr's level camp so we didnt do. Lunch was next!

After lunch, we went to play command conquer, which was the building of cataput to launch water bombs. O and P versus each other. O was pro to be able to launch the water bombs far away, but they soft of looked at ours before alterating theirs and they also used an extra stuff. Their flag lorh. I think if we had used also we also could make it high, but we didnt and some bombs went even further than theirs. HA. Mr potato was on our side anw lols. And he and alan had fun playing with the bombs.

Later on was initiative games. It was quite crap. We spent alot of time slacking there. Oh and its good to have scouts in our group. I must say they are pro! They can tie ropes really well! It is something I cant do haha. Unfortunately, it started raining. Hmm, maybe its fortunate for us. Later you'll know. So we skipped two boring activities, the initiative game was done halfway and co-operation corner we din even do. We spent the time slacking under shelter. We played murderer. The hand squeezing one.

When the rain went down a bit, we were let off, to bath and rest. It was of no point bathing so we rested. We chatted for a long time until it was time for dinner. later on we were told that we we moving to the dorms and a-hut AHAHHA.(yz jealous right?!) so we moved our stuff into the dorms allocated to us. Too bad wasnt the same with kh, qy, mel, hwee and jo. It was fun with yh and jess haha. I was also in the same dorm as some of my grp members and ppl like drey, sh, sw and more from some of frp r and q ppl. So I can say for sure I slept well! Never woken by anything haha.

Day THREE
We had the Exploration Journey!It was a six hours trekking and hiking OUTSIDE camp! Walking along roads to reach our checkpoints. We planned our own routes with the help of a map. Then we also had our own lunch, supposingly to be cooking. Had my sunburns of the whole camp during this period of time too =(. So we planned where we were going and started walking out. The long stretch of rocky road took us 20min =.=. Then we went to the 'nearest busstop' which was just outside. Next we went to the Hay Dairies Goat Farm. We didnt go inside haha, they wanted to save time. Then we went to the bird farm which was not open. I forgot the other places already lols. But almost every checkpoints had dogs which bark at marcus who was hold the flag. Maybe it seems threatening to them haha. But for sure I remembered the long long road which was the longest on the map. It is the Neo Tiew Road. It was so long we cant imagine finishing it. But we did anw. Then there was Turuk Track and many many Lim Chu Kang roads. We also went to the frog farm and had luch there. We also had ice cream! Treated by ms chong and alan! Hmm what else...I cant really rmb. Oh we learnt our banana-fever dance at somewhere near a beach. LOL. I really cant rmb. But we didnt finish everything as there wasnt enuf time. We went back earlier and went to rest and bathed instead.

Later on we prepared for our item for campfire-----banana-fever dance. Plus camoing up with the op cheer! ahaha. We had dinner later on. I think it was the best. CHICKEN RICE! The rice is much much much nicer than some of the rice sold outside lorh. too bad there was soup haha. So after that we prepared for campfire. And campfire started at around 8. Everyone assembled at the campfire place.

The campfire was hosted by two wacky instructors as the camp chief, potato, said if he was the mc, it would be very boring lols. Mr Sng and Mr Low were there with us! So it started out with the introduction of the groups and cheering competition! Everyone was chao high and cheered with enthusiasm! After every group had cheered and intriduced, the items started. I think. With the ab who sang peng you.....followed on according to order la. In between we had 2 games and some singing thing. First game was for the girls, who had to be blindfolded and dance when music was played. They were removed one by one, leaving only the good ones, which in the end left the best one. It was Shu Ting from 2B. She was pro, think she learnt dancing before. Michelle represented our group and she was fantastic too! One of the last four left i think haha. The other game was for the guys. They had to copy the instructor who was dancing and when the music stops, they had to stop and not move. Those whose position are not the same as the instructors are out, along with those who moved. Among the last for guys, two were from cushka! They were Shaun and Xingqi ahah. But xingqi was out after that. Shaun got second. But I dunno the winner's name LOL. Then OP did our banana-fever dance! I duno who were sitting in front of me as it was chao dark there....with torchlights shining everywhere =.=. Blah Blah. At the end of it, we had mass dance! It was fun although we were quite cramp. Lol. But I enjoyed every part of that day. Anw, we got to stay in the dorms! WHOO!

Day FOUR
Boo...last day of camp...you yi dian she bu de....Yes I am serious. I will miss the fun with PRO! The food too I guess, some of them are really nice. So we ate breakfast and then went to strike tents. Yes it was tiring. We had to wipe the canvas layer by layer. Phew. Then we had area cleaning. Bad news: Clean toilet. Good news: Clean the cleanest toilet. AHAHA. Everyone's reaction when I told them my group had to clean toilet they would laugh. But when I told them we finished cleaning when they were still doing their cleaning they went huh?!Why so fast! Answer: We got the cleanest toilet! haha. In fact we took quite a short time cleaning. Most work was still by Alan. He is really nice^^. Later we had evaluation and prize presentation. So we won the most PRO-active group. haha. First to receive prize. It was towels anw =.=. The best group overall was Justea. Later we bid the last goodbye with the intructors and boarded the bus. I think some of the other groups' instructors went back with them to DHS and treated them to drinks. So good. Haha. I slept on the bus, still too tired.

Me, qy and kh went to buy food and drinks after we reached sch and collected our valuables. Haha. Then kh went home and me and qy continued slacking till the sec4s finished sch. Lols. So unlucky they had to study when we were having fun. We went to look for yz and yx lols. Later we slacked at the band room before going home.



I think I took a long time to post this T_T. An hour?? I guess so, haha. Well, I think I should go eat...erm lunch. HAHA. So cya!

Thursday, May 11, 2006 . 6:35 PM

Came back from camp today...yay finally..haha...

Okay...basically I am very tired now so dont expect much la...four days of camp...zzz. Fun but tiring...I think it goes to the same for sec3s haha, they also had their camp but in msia. Well, reached school at about 1pm just now I guess and had to lug my heavy bags home w/o any lift ...sad...

I have sunburns!!!! The worse of all is that the most painful parts are my shoulders! Imagine how I brought my bags home OMG.. Sian..My face is also sunburnt...

Anw, I am not going to blog about the camp YET, maybe tmr. I am tired. TIRED. TIRED. TIRED.

So, I shall go slp hehe....yeah I am a human being and I need rest too you know!

Sunday, May 07, 2006 . 7:36 PM

OMG OMG OMG!!! Now everything sound so crystal clear to my ears. For the last 2 weeks or so, I have been living w/o noise aha, I couldnt hear things clearly. I also spkoe very softly I believe T_T. Then I went to the doc's and he washed my ears...using some kind of syringe...chao big one that is, and *flshhh* go the water into my ears...*plop* came out the wax. Haha, ok well, there wasnt any sound when they came out LOL.

After that I couldnt get used to the noise outside. Now I know how does noise pollution come about Y_Y...

When I came online QY was like telling me to go to watch a video which is chao cool, thought the animation is a little fake...its obvious la, but the music made is very very nice!!! It is called Animusic yeaps...

So now I am enjoying myself to what I would be missing for the next 4 days? And finally, to remind you all, DONT BOTHER TRYING TO CONTACT ME FROM THE NEXT 4 DAYS, unless you want to call the campsite number, which I dont know what it is AHAHA....lols.

Hopefully I will enjoy my stay at that campsite Y_Y....K la I go pack..heh...byebye! I will miss everyone LOL!

Saturday, May 06, 2006 . 5:08 PM

Badness level

1) smoked
2) consumed alcohol
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex
6)made out with someone of the same sex
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex
8) watched porn
9) bought porn
10) done drugs
TOTAL: 1

11) taken pain killers
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine
13) lied to your parents
14) lied to a friend
15) snuck out of the house
16) done something illegal
17) cut yourself
18) hurt someone
19) wished someone to die
20) seen someone die
TOTAL: 4

21) missed curfew
22) stayed out all night
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
24) been to a therapist2
5) been to rehab
26) dyed your hair
27) received a ticket
28) been in a wreck
29) been to a club
30) been to a bar
TOTAL: 2

31) been to a wild party
32) seen the Mardi Gras
34) had a spring break in Florida
35) sniffed anything
36) wore black nail polish
37) wore arm bands
38) wore t-shirts with band names
39) listened to rap
40) own a 50 cent CD
TOTAL: 3

41) dressed gothic
42) dressed prep
43) dressed punk
44) dressed grunge
45) stole something
46) been too drunk to remember anything
47) blacked out
48) fainted
49) had a crush on your neighbor
50) had someone sneak into your room
TOTAL: 1

51) snuck into someone else's room
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
53) been to a concert
54) dry humped someone
55) been called a slut
56) called someone a slut
57) installed speakers in your car
58) broke a mirror
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
60) brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush
TOTAL: 4

61) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
63) cruised the mall
64) skipped school
65) had an eating disorder
66) had an injury
67) gone to court
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying
69) caught something on fire
70) lied about your age
TOTAL: 3

71) owned an apartment
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73) cheated with someone
74) got in trouble with the police
75) talked to a stranger
76) hugged a stranger
77) kissed a stranger
78) rode in the car with a stranger
79) been sexually harassed
80) been verbally harassed
TOTAL: 3

81) met face to face with someone you met online
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
84) watched TV for 12 hours straight
85) been to a fair
86) been called a bad influence
87) cursed
88) prank called someone
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
90) cheated on a test
TOTAL: 8

91) cheated on homework
92) held hands with someone of the opposite sex
93) been pushed into a pool
94) played pool
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
97) had a crush on someone younger than you
98) wear eyeliner
99) skinny dipped
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt
TOTAL: 4

Total: 33

How bad can that be LOL....I am very bored...more quizes to look for haha.... Life can be boring at home. I know there are many things to do, but I just dont feel like doing them. Was reading comics just now and i only have 2 more left to read, plus 2 more at jessicas LOL. After that I will have to look for more ^^.

Hopefully nic has more =p.

And now? I'm just 'hanging around' msn, chatting with some people. Yeap...I am bored...yet I dont feel like playing anything. I want to keep those 2 comics for tmr to read. Argg... I have nth to blog...shall go find some quizes frm other blogs to do..think qy has 1 new one heheheh....

Friday, May 05, 2006 . 10:36 PM

OHOHOH! I just read Nic's blog
and I realised I have forgotten to blog about something. Now I remember, all thanks to nic. HAHA.

Well, how can anyone bear to separate the two best friends? They are like the bestest out of all best friends LOL. They can joke with one another, in front of their STUDENTs. How cool is that? Though w/o each other they can still joke, they have more fun with each other! One will be with sec2s the other with sec3s how sad.

Hmm, and yeah a part of Mulan DOES sound like chicken dance! I heard that part and started laughing with nic who realised it too LOL. Some of the rest were laughing but I am not sure at what...haha...one cant be sure what other parties are thinking of, you know. HAH.

Today is Mrs Wong's bdae! Haha...then there was this lao tu method of 'surprising' her and I bet she should know already lorh =.=. She got a present from the band, and she din really dare to read out the words written inside...haha...wanna know? Well, the first sentence said: I have big hair. LOL...2nd she asked us not to laugh...I have a good figure...haha....in the end we all still laughed...And we wished her happy SIXTEENTH birthday LOLS. Our band sure is funny HAHA.

The front of the scrap book read: Arent you JEALOUS of me? And jy was having a hard time trying to put that into her hands while she was supposed to be making her wish lols. Instead she was suspicious and kept trying to see what was going on haha. That part was funny can...lols....

Oh yeah sx would like deodorants for his bdae LOL. Lets see, there are 12 people in horns! So each one buy one bottle den got 12 liao...does that make one CARTON???

HAHA...well, maybe thats a joke...lols...i cant tell the between truth and joke....sad right? Well, there was this irritating guy whom me and my fren met in maple just now, who verbally harrassed us. Non-stop vulgarities were spouted by him and I got really irritated. But I turned all his words into jokes, e.g.:
guy called 'ramartix': Mother f***er!
me: Omg, how can you be so despo as to do that to your mum?

ramartix: F*** u
Rubbish bin
me: Eh u really despo leh also wan do that to a rubbish bin =.=

ramartix: How much must I pay to f u?
me: well, dunit bah, I ask my dog replace me can liao...foc de....

ramartix: Ask husky dog to f u la jie bai(supposingly to be the bad word he spelt wrongly =.=)
me: huh u wan husky? no prob, i'll send one to u in no time...

Well, how stupid the conversations are....you cant expect more respectful words from me to this guy....at least I was patient enough to not use caps^^ He just didnt admit I outalked him, well, which guy would? I mean they are so...ops...ok shall not say anything. But he kept chaning character and kept repeating what he said. How childish dont you think? I ignored him for a while and he disappeared, coming back with his real char again =.=. He must be damn young I guess. Dont think young kids cant spout all these vulgarities HOR. I have seen some primary sch kids who scolded people with vulgarities as bad if not worse than this. Yeaps. Nowadays...lol....kids learn FAST. Seeing primary 1 students holding their own handphones are not surprising now, unlike last time...lala...

How weird the world is... Wonder why everyone seems so depress, stress and troubled. Most people I see dosent seem to themselves, arent they, or was I just thinking too much?

A sense of relief blow over me as I realised there is no more tests for now. I feel so.....shuang....Next week I wont be home either, from mon to thu...level camp! At Sarimbun?Lols. Going camping is fun.

I havent been away w/o my parents for a long time. Havent been that long either..wait No...I did! Last yr, when I went to Australia. Yeps...for 10 days. LOL. How much does this makes? Well, that one was really fun, not sure bout this one. I think I'm gonna enjoy myself anw...at least I know some of my group members^^

Hopefully I will not be too tired. Next Sat the band's going to sentosa! Whoo! Havent been there for a long long time. i miss the musical fountain! But we are going to perform in it! HOW COOL! Beside you may be water splashing! The flow is by sensors so it will react to our playing! Whee! Kinda excited.

After that, the following tue is a hol. May have part outing. It depends.

I should be passing this Math test but failing the chi one. Sadly, I studied a little only for chi and never study at all for math. Well, you can say math is common sense once you know the basic, but chi is definitely NOT. ZZZ. Dont talk about it anymore.

The 2.4 was well done....for me though, I finished it within 14min I guess, if not a little more course my watch timing may be different from the teacher's. I am going to redo my sit and reach and get GOLD for my napfa. Never silver in my mind. No matter what, I will make sure it is a gold XD. I cant get my 29 points anymore BOOHOO.....

We heard the choice piece Mr Ng is likely to pick. Well, all I can say is it is chao nice, but difficult. Hmm, we also practised for the sentosa performance, the one and only =.=. I am still not very sure about them though, we went for 2.4 rmb?!

Next week's going to be enjoyable.....fun times await me!

LALALA....crapping away...guess I have more blog to read, but may not be updated often=.=. As in others' blogs...I want to look for more blogs to read!

sian....nth to do now =.=. hmm ...go play game? lol...i shall do tt...byebye!

Thursday, May 04, 2006 . 5:56 PM

Emotions and feelings, even tempers are like weathers which can change anytime w/o warning or reason. Thus, they are somehow unknown. You wouldnt know what will come later.

I dont know what to say. I am speechless. The first second, the feeling was happy and the next second, it changes to sad. It is like at first you found out you won the first prize of the lottery and the next second, you realised you hve forgotten to buy it. NO, I am just taking it as an example, I an still underage =.=.

Well, imagine you just got some money from your dad and was feeling so great knowing you can buy whatever you wanted to, and later on, found out all the nice pictures once kept inside your computer are gone. They are gone forever, never to be found again. Those nice memories, which can never happen to you again, kept in those pictures, yet are also gone.

Memories can never be found again, unless someone unleash it once again. Pictures kept in the computer can also never be found again. The only pictures are inside your heart. Those are memories you will never forget unless your brain decides to discard them away, or you have met with an accident.

Sadness filled in me can never be forgotten.

Oh well, I am not speechless. Fine, I am not, so? I am almost speechless. Not knowing what to say in the first place. Now I have a lot to say.

No, should say not.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006 . 10:57 PM

Argg...I feel like I'm going to burst anytime. I am an unstable time-bomb which can just burst anytime at all. Or an ALIVE volcano waiting for the right time to erupt. Definitely not EXTINCT.

Everything seems to be cramped up in my heart, my feelings and all and I cant seem to get rid of them. They kept sticking to me, not letting go. I am left without freedom. The feeling is weird. Especially when it 'acts up'. You will feel the frustration coming out of it, no matter what it is. If you have no SPACE to breathe at all, you may just die. A slip short death. How great is that.

When the frustrations in you has no more space to be contained, it will burst and spill out. As it spills, it turns from a feeling to a liquid, a real life liquid which flows out through your eyes. After the frustration has been 'disposed' of, you will feel much much better.

Is there real freedom out in the outside world? Is there really such a place called paradise? Does free means no worries, frustrations, irritations and things like that? How can space help us? Does it help contain our unwanted thoughts and feelings, with frustrations clinging onto it?

I am asking weird, stupid questions here, and I dont even know what am I talking about. I just feel much better now. I can say, for one thing, blogging is good for your health. Ah yes, i am going to kill QY after she has killed YH. LOLs. She will not have the chance to drink the milo so I'll have 2 cups XD... There wasnt du xie whoo! But it is tmr =.=. In the end, I still have to learn it anyway, so whats the difference? I seemed to be back using my shortcuts already, but it is faster to type it like this hahas.

The Science test was quite difficult just now! The only easy part is the one where you have to choose the substance and write how can the hydrogen and carbon dioxide be tested =.=. ZZZ. I shall not talk about it anymore. It will only make me more depress.

Yeaps. I am depress eh? Not serious de larh. As in it is not a serious depression until I want to jump down the building and leave the world. I cant bear to do that. Heh. It is not that I am afraid of death. I still want to see many things in the world. haha.

Then we had 2 free periods after recess! Whoo! Teacher wasnt here today wadd =/. Once again, I accompanied Shermaine down to canteen haha. Didnt see any of the seniors though. Later went to 4K to kachao yz and yx with qy^^.

We got bored at 4K so we went back to class. After a while, we went to look for qy's other seniors and kachao them too LOL. Wanted to look for jaz and jas but there wasnt time. When I walked pass their class, the teacher was already there >.<.

We went back to class to enjoy another free period. Played truth or dare but it was damn boring also. Some people just gave some stupid dares which cant be accomplished like going next door(they were having class with a teacher inside) and do a chicken dance on the teacher's table. =.=.

Then it became boring again. I read comics during Chi lessons. Okay, I know I'm not supposed to do that, but the whole of middle row except the first and last row people were all sleeping!!! I was so tempted by the book so I read it HAHA.

Accopanied yl and hwee to the OBS stuff there as yl wanted to try her IPU. We played with the ropes first cause there were 2 new ropes haha. Then hwee told me about that wall and I tried on it. All of the times I tried, I just need a bit more to go over it =.= . I shall try again next time. So yl went to try her IPU. I tried to jump on tht high high bar at the side, and I did it w/o much energy. I was swinging on it lightly and guess wad? THE WHOLE THING SHOOK!!! I was shocked that I dropped down immediately....zzz...Hwee was like, look at the ground!!! Okay, it was.....erm...some how unbalanced. =/

During eng lesson, I HAD TO CHANGE PLACE. It is not because I caused any trouble or talked too much! AUDREY IS THE ONE. She kept on talking non-stop and kang had to change her place! She was looking around and her eyeballs just stopped at me T_T. But it didnt seem to matter where she was placed! She can talk to anyone around her. She also has many funny gestures and xiao dong zuo! All were funny that made some people laugh beneath. Ashley almost became a door god like drey because he was laughing. Anyone that looked at her would laugh.

ZZZ. Had to tahan her meddling with my things especially my WATER BOTTLE. She was playing with it. She used it to spray water at Shaun continuously and was caught by me. I also messed with her things^^. After I saw what she had done, I thought of doing sth to irritate her too. So I got the idea of taking her money out of her wallet which was on the table and place it in her pencil case. HAHA. Even joanna was saying yeah that would be her punishment. At least we didnt take the money can?

Hmph. After tolerating for about 2 periods, it finaly ended, but followed on was even more boring with some unenthu people. They were practically not helping at all. LALA. BORING.

After sch, went to macs yet again. I think I am getting fatter, so I should try not to be tempted to go again. Oh yeah an actual fact here: A packet of curry sauce cant last qy with her small fries, instead can last her for her 6 pieces of nuggets, whereas it is the opposite of me. LOL.

Right. I havent started studying. Perhaps I should do so. Yeah. Cya!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006 . 8:47 PM

You might be thinking, why am I blogging again instead of going to study or finish my hw...Well, I just want to get out of the busy times for A WHILE. I was doing some of the hw yet have not started my studying for either tests. SAD right?

Well, I forgot to talk about some random things that happened in school just now. It just sort of popped up in my mind again.

-Si Hui's ducky has undergone the eye operation and looks cute now.

-Played the 'sitting down' game during IP.

-Shaun and his Johnson Cow which is Rui En's dog =.=.

-In sooth I know not why I am sad.....LOLS. In sooth I know why I am tired >.<

-The first guy who spoke for the public speaking contest was chao funny. A conversation with a teacher after the contest:

(The guy talking to the teacher....)
Teacher: How was your contest?

Guy: I went up the stage and said F!

Teacher: You did?!

Guy: Nah, never lo.

-Met yz and yx after sch, twice. Went home together.

-Yx and qy's PINK shoes.

(Yx didnt notice qy's shoes.)

Me: *Whispering to qy* does yx know about your shoes?

Qy: Huh? No.

Me: *Starts laughing*

Qy: *stares at me*

Yx: What?

Me: *Whispers to yx* look DOWN...

Yx: *looks around downwards* OMG! QY! pink shoes!

Qy: *slaps my back many many times*

Me: !!!

-Yx and qy looks ALIKE!

-Qy is proer in hp game as she plays every day.

-Seaweed shake powder + Chilli = MAMEE powder!

Right I cant think of anymore....lols...back to studying! Ciaos! Today I was very very very tired. Came to school looking very sleepy I bet, plus I was almost late lols. I became more energetic after Eng. We didnt do the stupid skit therefore our marks must have been very low. WHO CARES.

All I know is I did the stupid ppt. If not for it, I bet it'll even worst to present the earlier long and freaking one which is just copied from the stupid brochure. ZZZ. Whatever.

I was looking forward to music as I know I am going to play the conga, which is the nicest instru to play in the whole group other than the xylo hahas. Well, the rhythm was chao easy though Shermaine couldnt do haha. She kept breaking down halfway. Lols.

The next thing coming up next is I n E which I hated the most. It is chao useless. For the time spent most was just listening to lectures. We only started the 'buisness' making like 3 weeks ago. So we are not supposed to add more of our products, but we only have like 11 to sell. What. the. crap. Fine lorh, then we just sell those larh! By the way it is the making of posters tomorrow. I. will. fall. asleep.

There is also SCIENCE test tomorrow, not forgetting Chi du xie, though some people say it is on Thu, but it is better to study for it, be safer than to be sorry. or whatever you call it.

What else? I want to finish the art thing also, but it seems impossible to be in the same group as drey =.=. Okay, whatever AGAIN.

I feel sick. I dont want to study. I am tired. I dont want to face the stress of projects and tests. How can I escape from them?

Monday, May 01, 2006 . 10:35 PM

I hate last minute PROJECTS can?

I have last minute work frequently, but those have always been my INDIVIDUAL work, so I dont have a reason to blame it on anyone. It is my responsibility to finish up my work and since I chose to do them the last minute, it is MY chioce, not anyone else's.

Now the situation I have here yet AGAIN, is a PROJECT whereas it is supposed to be done by FIVE members, not one nor two. This is yet AGAIN, unfair to those of us who always helped to finish it at the last moment.

It is a certainly an unfair situation. Here some of us are trying to finish it, the rest are nowhere to be found, in the case of whether on MSN or call(home). In an instance, I almost wanted to swear. I controlled.

[Shit! I did something wrong again! Sorry KH =.=]

I cant get anything right now. It has been after half an hour. The only thing is, the stupid skit to be done. I am here doing this stupid ppt till so late, when now is already 11.30, and someone still want me to reach school early to do the stupid skit. How can I get up in time. I rejected it straight. Sorry for the inconveniences caused for anyone.

I am supposed to be having my beauty sleep now. Well, it was actually a long time ago, yet I am doing this. It is totally unfair. I want to go on strike. I want to oppose on every project, object! I could have slept so much earlier to escape from doing this stupid thing, but that would be leaving kh to everything. It is also unfair to her. I am not heartless.

I have finished all my hw on Friday. It is a surprise to myself already. I was so free on the last two days plus this afternoon. I was looking forward to sleeping early. I am serious. I can hardly look forward to this. Sadly, this hope is broken.

I really hate people like this. I will hate people. I cant keep myself from hating people. I dont want to do so, but they have forced me to.

I have tried so hard to learn not to hate people. For once, I did it. I didnt hate anyone at all for a period of time. I learnt to be understanding and put myself in their shoes. Not this time though, there is no reason that I see that can give them the excuse not to do this.

Therefore, the hatred for some people just arises and there is nothing I can do to not feel it. the more I see them, the more I hated them. Some people are just like that. This dosent apply to this situation, it refers to generally.

You may think I am a monster, but well, that is just my character. It is just a part of my weaknesses I guess. Its a wonder people can stand me Y.Y.

The worst is kh. She had a camp for the weekend, coming home only yesterday at 11pm. She only had less than 10 hours of sleep for the last two nights? Yet now she cant sleep early. Other than thepile of hw she has to clear, there is still this one. I bet no other person can be like her, willing to do for the groups she is in, finishing last minute works as always. I am always the one who can accompany her. Maybe the key thing is that I can sleep late.

Sleeping late is an advantage, provided your family, parents are not too strict with you. Well, you can only get to sleep late if your family is not too strict right? Hell, what am I talking. Freak. I am too worn out.

Lastly, why am I blogging about this? To gain sympathy from people? Absolutely NOT. I just want to express my feelings on what is going on in my head now. I want to leave it as an impression on people. Do NOT sympatise me. I am not the worst of all. (Perhaps neither is kh.) YES I am extremely bored at home. I spent all my time watching tv and reading comics. This is going to be the shortest post ever. I have got nothing to blog about. I am tired of thinking of topics to talk about, so I shall not do that XD.

So, well, I cant believe I slept at 3 plus both saturday and yesterday, yet getting up at 11 the next days. Yeah, I know that is quite impossible, but well, I did it. I didnt feel tired at all also. But I must definitely sleep early today.

Preparing for tests has always been a lazy job for me, but nevertheless, it must still be done, if not I am done for. No matter what, studies still comes first. I shall study T.T. Let's see.....du xie and sci test on wed, omg omg omg. Both are those type you dont study you die of tests =.=. du xie is included in CA can? So must study, and as for sci, you can use a bit of common sense.

Lucky I did my hw on Fri Y.Y. But I still have the stupid essay to do zzz. Right, I shall go finish them and go read more comics^^. I just cant stop reading.