Friday, May 29, 2009 . 7:47 PM
I cant control my temper so if you try getting me really angry, you are in for it. I am serious, dead serious. Although I dont like this phrase, I will still use it, because I am serious.Always getting super pissed off by the same ways almost everyday is really freaking irritating. The feeling of anger feels like its gonna burst any time and I just feel like punching the wall or something. Just that it will hurt myself, so I would do that only when there's nothing else I can do to vent my anger. I realised the frequent way to vent anger is to use vulgarities, so I guess thats why you see them flying when I am angry at times. I refuse to use it here cos I still dont support the use of vulgarities but I cant really help it whenever I am really angry and pissed off. Especially with the frustration and irritated feeling I feel whenever I am angry.
I guess my family feel the worse whenever I am pissed off. Its so easy to tell cos i wont speak to them politely. And I get really agitated whenever I am angry, so it may also worsen everything. That's my bad temper. And right now blogging is a great way to express and vent my anger fuming inside me, cos I am typing everything out. Okay, maybe not anything about what has happened, but at least something here that I dont feel happy about. Who would be happy if him or her has such a bad temper. The person wont feel good either. Just like me, right here, right now.
Ah indeed it's helping me calm down cos I dont feel the urge to go punch anything now. Oh listening to music helps too. Must listen to my favourite music, not those soothing ones. Cos somehow when I am agitated and I hear those music, I will feel even more agitated. Whenever I am angry I wont have the appetite so dont bother giving food unless they are really nice and delicious. Maybe that will buy me.
At this point of time, maybe can just add in more points on my reflections some other day. I may be very straightforward at times and I dont really care how people will think about me(maybe after that then will ponder about it la). If I say what I am unhappy about a certain person or groups of people, I wont care if they hear it or not. In fact, I think its better to let them hear about it so they will know what is wrong with their attitude and behavior, or what ever I am unhappy about. I doubt anyone will change but at least the person knows.
I guess I am a very strong person when I was younger, strong emotionally. Haha now I am more strong physically then previously, definitely. I usually dont care about many things and will be more independent. Somehow things have changed. Even going down to eat, I rather go down with a friend or a group of friends, very dependent. Sounds very weird that one is becoming dependent as he grows older, but yeah maybe this is the case la. Its funny to say all these but its just what I think. Thought about it since a long long time ago, especially when there's lots of changes between pri and sec schools.
Yeap yeap. Okay feeling better now, shall blog about today then. What a boring post it is, talking about myself and how I feel. Then again, this is my blog and I write what I want. Mass media is powerful ^^.
Today is such a "waste time" day. Other than playing Stand By Me for Mrs Wong (and Mr Ng) during assembly, the rest of the day was rather slack. We will definitely miss Mrs Wong...Jasmine was reminding me how things will be so different without her here sigh. I dont want to think about it right now...
Whole of math was gone due to assembly and most bio were gone by the time we reached the class =/. Went to the student lounge after finding out math was cancelled. Played smart ass again. I suck at that game cos I am not smart haha. Bio was slack cos most of the answers were already gone through in class, chem was just copying as usual and got back chem lec test. Omg I was super shocked that I actually passed! Must thank physics cos gaseous state is the one that saved me >.<. Anyway, passing with an E is not that great, but judging and comparing to my previous test, I improved 2 grades. Yeah it tells you how bad my chem suck this year. Used to be good in it, but it unfriended me this year =((. Hope I can gain this friendship back next time...much effort must really be put in >.<. I dont know if I can do it...
Went for dance briefing and watched the dances rehearse for a while before going to macs with jq, banana and bens. Crapped a lot but mostly them doing the talking and they are really crappy and rubbish LOL! Okay jq and I are the more normal ones xD! Ate milo mcflurry becos I had lunch alr. I think if I can make my own vanilla ice cream, I can make the milo mcflurry le -.-. Its just vanilla ice cream, milo powder and milo nuggets(I dont like it cos its too sweet). It would be great if its just the ice cream and the powder LOL! Oreo is better =x. Cos I duno how to make oreo -.-. Lala.
Later fetched jq home and went home. Din noe jq live so near lol, but its not walkable from my home cos I think my legs will just die HAHA! Never noticed how nice the houses are around that area too, cos my dad always pass by the main road but never turn in.
Anyway, might be getting pissed again, so shall turn away frm this page haha! No la, maybe go other things or play games le. Byebye!
Thursday, May 28, 2009 . 7:26 PM
Wonder who will still have the mood to do work after GP papers today lol. Freaking tired now. Today's been a rather long day and have used up lots and lots of brain power. I dun even feel like going school tmr, let alone touch math lol.Paper 1 was crap =.= did the commonest qns rarh! Hopefully can still get near a pass =(. Paper 2 was crap too cos I din manage to finish AQ argh! Was scribbling away, but still not enough time...think I took too long to paraphrase my summary. Bad reflections here =(. Must train myself to generate MORE ideas and at a FASTER rate. Maybe can include writing faster too, but largely due to the former la.
After that was econs - Are you smarter than a 5th Grader? show style lecture haha! Mainly revision, but there was lots to enjoy cos it was very funny. Too bad it was too short cos got yr6 math lecture or sth. Mr Yeo as Latika and Mr Dev as Jamal! Basically that was the highlight of the day.
Training was quite a torture today...maybe cos of the hot weather and we trained from 2 plus onwards >.<. Tiring. Sweat alot too, luckily pe shirt is thick enough.
Ah now i feel like sleeping. Dont really feel like doing any single thing at all=/. Heh go rest le...bye!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009 . 7:08 PM
Was reading GP notes but got sianned...shall blog then continue after this xD! Today is a looooong day, was quite tired when I reached home, even though there wasnt any training today. Wonder how I always survive training haha! Anyway, its fun!After today's gp lesson, I think I am hopeless in gp =.=. So far I have only passed one essay and none of the compres. Its hard to gauge la, cos so far we have only done 2 each =.=. But, I cant even analyse any essay qns properly la T_T. Topic is the hardest part of analysis zzz.
Did rubbish for econs test too =/ but at least I passed...my essay grades been dropping consistently LOL. This is bad...Argh. I think I wont have any mood to study for CTs la =.=. Not fair some schools finished already, I think.
Today's also Mr Yeo and Ms Phua's last day teaching us, cos they will be going to uni next sem, cant teach us le =(. They are really great relief teachers, can mostly understand what they teach and all. Hopefully our real teachers are good =/.
Mr Yeo very nice, he gave us this bookmark that looks like a fan haha! He wants to give us something more memorable instead of chocolates(yet cheap at the same time, horhor), so sweet right? I think we will rmb him whenever we see the fan la! Its supos to psycho us into loving econs LOL! Must put in econs textbook so whenever study can see that lol...Some random pictures from now =D:
This are the nice, colourful snowskin heartshape ice cream =DD Like this pic alot haha! Its the one me and chingying shared at suntec the other day. We bought these:
Mango, Strawberry and Cookies n Cream!!!
The stitch we got for nic!
This is taken during one of the free periods when we were bored...
XX's tigger sitting on a rainbow! xD
This proves I went to Joo Koon haha! There's nothing cept factories, so its always empty, but there are others like us who went there to see see for fun xD!
Going back to the East! So many more stops to go =(. Anyway went to jurong point to eat instead heh...when was that ah? o_OAh, gonna be busy the first week of hols =/. Gonna go back to take yr1s (hopefully yz going too!) and having band camp, band concert. Whoo. Tiring! Next 3 weeks would be mugging, with lots of slacking and playing too I guess =x.
Things to do: (This week)
Today - study for gp
Tmr - study for gp
Thu - training
math tutorial (dont have so much time you know)
bio tutorial
Fri - gotta stay back for dance concert rehearsal (ushering)
Sat - dance concert at night but gotta go at 1 (zzz)
Guess that's all. But looks a lot LOL. I shall start studying now. Cya! =D
Monday, May 25, 2009 . 8:38 PM
Things never go according to schedules and all. Planned to do work and read GP notes, but failed in the end. Com came back today and the guy did not help me do a backup of my documents on my desktop when I told him specifically to. Thus, some of my sch stuff are gone and I dont rmb if I have any pics on my desktop when I set for repair or not. Most of the stuff gone are songs, so I dont reli care, but I am afraid there are things gone that cant be retrieved =.=.Was busy redling all the stuff from moodle and all. I hate reformatting my com, have to redl all those stuff that was previously in my com zzz, such as msn. Took a long time cos there was some error. Luckily I'm not gonna play WOW like NOW, so its still okay. It will take me ages to install the whole thing ~.~ 3 discs. So all my stuff are pretty much gone, com is faster by a lot and I am kinda happy in that sense. Just hate the "restoring" part.
Oh and luckily microsoft word and ppt are redled for me ^^. If not I wont have to do my work ever again LOL.
Just wanted to update on stuff I did during the time where my com went dead for a while. The last time I blogged was the day before econs test. It was a little screwed, but I hope can still scrap a pass since our class's avr is a 6 =/. Chem was =.=. Dont talk abt it. Heh bought a nice, cute tee and heart shaped necklace =D. Then there was the HCI dance concert. Was good, I would say. Looking forward to dhs's dance concert this sat LOL, then can compare =x. Sunday was fun cos I got to play bball whee! Super slack this weekends, totally enjoyed it. That's why I think I am always dead when weekdays arrive...
GP CT is this thu, and mum says its the hottest day of the year according to chinese calendar at china I think. Main point is, I think I am gonna fail whether its the hottest day or not =.=. But, the side point is, we are gonna die in our classroom T_T. Its freaking hot today already, cant imagine how thu will be like ARGH!
Shall stop complaining now and try to get to work. Doubt can do whatever I wanted la, sian. Nvm, go off already, bye!
Dislike things but cant do no shit to them.
Trying to ignore them but cant do it either.
Maybe shopping is my therapy.
However, funds are short!!! T_T
Wednesday, May 20, 2009 . 10:44 PM
Not in a very nice mood and its not like a am very prepared for econs test tmr, but heck care, no mood to study now. Absolutely cant absorb anything that my eyes swipe pass (like a laser you know). Roar!Okay about a week absence from blogging. Firstly, been busy as usual (with dunno what) and secondly, my com broke down for a while =.=. Dad says his colleague said that the memory card (RAM) was dusty. Zzz. Apparently my dad was right in the sense that he took it out to clean but didnt put it back tight enough thus my com still couldnt work. Anyway, now it can!
Saturday was SE concert. Before that, went out with banana, chingying and steffi to buy present for nic at suntec. Bought a HUGE stitch, sunflowers and a HUGE card lol. Oh and me and chingying shared this snowskin ice cream from gelato =DD very nice! Strawberry was nicest out of mango, cookies and cream and itself =/. Still like cookies and cream!!! Love SE's encore item! Its very cool, like a gigantic music player haha! The mute part and surround sound was the coolest la!
Finally caught wolverine after sometime. The movie is good but dont like the ending roar! Okay, maybe I am the happy ending type of person, but really! Its very anti-ending! =( But like qy said, he has to lose his memory then he can join xmen! But aiya, can change ending ma =/. Lol.
Shall fast forward (like the SE music player!) to today! Interhouse was great! Drakon got 1st for both vball guys and girls, and 3rd for both bball guys and girls. Haha! Sounds quite funny yet cool =x. Very tempted to go shoot balls when I got home, but resisted it cos had to study econs =.=. Should do it as a weekly thing haha! Anyone wants to join me LOL! jkjk.
Now qi xiao a bit le, maybe can concentrate on studying again. Ah and I cant survive properly without my working com! Feel so bad not being able to do much for gpp >.<. Sorry, but will do more of what is needed in pw next time! Shall go study =D (attempt). Cya!
People just dont understand me.
Thursday, May 14, 2009 . 9:15 PM
Dont know what brings me here today. Just felt like blogging haha. However, some problem always occur whenever I come here =.=. Yesterday my internet dced and today, there was problem loading the blogger due to high traffic as they have mentioned or sth zzz. Problematic.Math is dead T_T. Wasted my time ytd LOL. No la, might have been lack of wasting time thats why, but I dont think last min practice may help for apgp nor sigma cos I just cant get them roar! Bio die, math die, chem and econs next noooooooooooo!
Obviously been lacking behind in lots and lots of tutorials in various subjects (which means almost everything), but I dont really care now, somehow a very low motivation for work, which is also at a bad time. Nvm, term's ending soon. Intense mugging (lesser compared to before eoys but definitely more than present) during june hols T_T.
Was reading a book called The Richest Man in Babylon. Gonna learn how to earn money muahaha! No la, just for fun de. Somehow reading it calmed my nerves. Or maybe its just reading that calms me. Who knows. I want to read many books but got no time roar! Comics too T_T.
Gonna end very late tmr due to netball =/. Was hoping to find some time to go watch wolverine argh! Or maybe singing too...bleh, must study too(but thats like my lowest priority now -.-).
Sorry just typing random things cos I just felt like saying whatever I wanted, so I am just typing whatever I am thinking right now. Looking forward to the hols. Not. Will be busy, so doesnt make a difference to the period now. Bleh, okay shall go do work. Bye!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009 . 8:05 PM
Life's a little different without knowing that SYF's coming...before that we were chionging so much that almost everything else were neglected as if they were not important. Now that its over, things also change along with this turning point. I dont know if you can call this a turning point, but it seems to me so. Shall not elaborate.Am supposed to study for math now, however I am too tired to study. Been chionging for bio test and I think I wasted my time cos my test was screwed -.-. Then now I dont feel like doing anything, fearing it would be another wasted effort, cos the math topics now are kind of sucky and I dont like them one bit, needless to say I dont have the motivation to do them at all.
Injured my thumb again, yesterday. Painful sometimes, but okay the other times. Continued to play during pe today despite the injury cos captain ball games are enjoyable and my mum confirmed such injuries are minor ones too heh. They are minor to us la, we are so similar LOL. Played against yr2s and I accidentally stepped on a girl's foot =/, doubt she heard my apology and heard from eli that her face's been black throughout the rest of the game =/. Anyway, played within the class again for a while and it was rather funny cos everyone became crazy lol. I think captain's ball is a fun game to play in 41 xD.
Trying to recall nice things that happened so that I wont think my life is miserable =.=. I dont think there's much in life that is enjoyable other than a certain few which I do treasure. At least there's comfort from the important people in my life =D.
Nvm shall go suffer by getting tortured my math. Bye!
Friday, May 08, 2009 . 10:25 PM
Putting a fullstop to a rather long chapter...since pri 2 till now, I have been playing in the band. Altogether, I have played in 4 SYFs and all of them hold meanings to me. The experiences are all different, however they are similar in a sense cos all competitions are just competitions. You either win or lose. But the most important thing is not the result but the experience. Thus, I am glad I took part in all of them and gained lots of experience that can never be gotten elsewhere.Thank you all who supported us, and me...my phone was flooded ytd >.<. Though its not the results that we wanted, it does not matter anymore. Now what I feel is not sadness because I know we did our best. Just very bu gan xin and of course disappointment will always be there. The happiest thing was to see Mrs Wong ytd. I missed her very much and when the band saw her ytd, many of us felt tears welling up in our eyes. Its one feeling that I have never gotten before. Mrs Wong, get well soon and come back soon! We all miss you! >.<
Oh yeah and its great to have Michelle at the place listening too haha. Thank you for the support! =D
