Monday, April 16, 2007 . 10:03 PM

Okay I dont feel like making this day worse by posting emo post again. But if you asked me if I am sad, I would tell you the truth yes I am. But dont worry I will get over it SOON. As long as I move on, work towards another goal, I guess I will get motivated again.

The results were more or less quite expected in my heart. The weather sort of gave me bad feelings cos I saw some grey clouds at the SCH itself. All the sec1s-3s gathered at the speaker and listening for the results. All of us just stunned there for a long time when we were announced with a silver.

Several started crying and jh cried out too. Nic and I hugged her and nic also began to cry, while I was holding back tears that welled up in my eyes. Yz came over and hugged each of us. We were worried jaz would cry so we were to wait for her at the stairs there. (Only SLs were allowed to go into the hall to listen to the results)

They were among the last few to come out. Meanwhile I saw Mr Simon Ng, Mr Hong and Ms Ong. I realised how much I missed my pri sch band and conductors. Even though I wasnt taught by Mr Hong and Ms Ong before, they both encouraged me haha. They are the current conductors of my pri sch band though.

Then jaz they all came out. Surprisingly jaz wasnt crying when she came out. She claimed that she had cried enough inside the hall already. All I knew was that everyone was sad. I told myself not to cry and be brave too. Jaz must be real sad inside but try to stay strong and encourage us as a lot of them were crying.

I just want to say that since we all have gone up the stage as a family as stated in our motto, we should be sharing the happiness and woes in this case as a family. We shouldnt blame ourselves nor OTHERS in the competition. And what has happened has already happened and we cannot do anything to change the fact anymore. So why dont we work towards another goal, cheer up most importantly and brace ourselves. Dont be a coward who admits defeat so easily but work harder to achieve what we wanted to achieve and show them we can do it.

This also allows us to experience a different experience. Dont you think this setback can make us stronger? We can learn new things even from this setback. Maybe its even better than getting a good results in which we become complacent about. Life's not just about results we achieve but also the process we have gone through and have learned something new from it.

Forget about what others say, stay focused and united as one instead of blaming others for the mistakes made. No one is perfect, even good soloists make mistakes. So as long as we have done our best, dont think of the results anymore. Although some people might think we havent, so do better next time. Since we know what we are capable of, we just have to perfect it and show it to others.

I certainly have much MORE to add on to these but I have told myself to control it so I shall not add on to it. Then again, even though I am sad, friends around me have cheered me up. Thank you to those who are there for me! I seriously appreciate all the encouragement you all have given me.

This post is rather mixed up, everything's not in chronological order. But ah well, I think its rather meaningful =/. The mixed up stuff inside there I mean. The stuff meant for encouraging people.

So after syf everyone returned with sad faces, most eyes were red and stuff. But in the brasses bus, it was filled with noise. With people like eugene never defeated by setbacks I guess, was trying to cheer the bus up with random crap. But the mood in the bus certainly lighten up a lot.

As we returned to school, I was thinking, I dont want to see anyone I know, because they will start asking about the results and I would have no face to face them. Afterall, many wished us good luck and think we can do it. They would just be filled with disappointment when they hear what we have gotten. But its impossible to escape the reality.

When I checked my hp, there was 6 smses and one miss call. 5 smses were good luck wishes which I failed to read before the syf cause I left my hp in the bag as instructed and one was asking if we really got silver. News spread around fast dont they? Then the miss call was to ask for results too.

I read the smses and felt even worse. Then when I replied to several people, I felt better. When the teachers talked to us, I think I felt a lot better. What they say might be just to encourage us, but it was good enough. She even tried to cheer us up by saying why we gotten a silver. Cos our setpiece Sunrise, choicepiece Samurai, so results Silver lor. Haha.

Then yz qy jo jh and I took a lift from yh's mum's car to the mrt station and four of us excluding jh went to bugis. Then I took bus home. That was the time when I started thinking of the results again. Yes I got really sad again at that time. It was a long ride home okay.

Then when I reached my house lobby, my parents came down and said they were going to buy a new washing machine so I went with them since I didnt want to stay home alone. I told them about the results and my dad who didnt know anything about music said "as long as you all have done your best can already lor, dont care if you all lose to other bands la". Haha I was thinking he doesnt even know about our feelings at that time.

So there was a lot of time for me to think through about what happened today. Then during sometime on the ride to the electronic shop, I picked up my phone to send an sms to horns hoping to cheer them up.

When I reached home, after I took a bath(which was quite long =.=), I talked to mic on the phone for quite a while also discussing abt the syf. And on msn, I complained to my friends about how I felt la and I think it made me feel a lot better. One of the conversations even strayed from me being sad to talking about cutting and drinking LOL.

So in the end I got cheered up and tada I decided to blog. I shall try my best to keep everyone's spirits up. I dont know if I can do it or not, but thats another thing haha. A lot of other things are coming our way. No matter what the result is, life still has to go on.

So...

To horns and banders: Lets all cheer up and work towards other goals, next would be rhythm! So work hard and stay happy!

To the other syf groups: Jiayou jiayou jiayou! We will always be supporting you! Dont worry about the results but enjoy yourselves on stage like most of us did!

I really hope everyone would cheer up and BE HAPPY! =D

*some parts are rather contradicting but I am a human so I have varying human emotions haha*