Friday, May 29, 2009 . 7:47 PM
I cant control my temper so if you try getting me really angry, you are in for it. I am serious, dead serious. Although I dont like this phrase, I will still use it, because I am serious.Always getting super pissed off by the same ways almost everyday is really freaking irritating. The feeling of anger feels like its gonna burst any time and I just feel like punching the wall or something. Just that it will hurt myself, so I would do that only when there's nothing else I can do to vent my anger. I realised the frequent way to vent anger is to use vulgarities, so I guess thats why you see them flying when I am angry at times. I refuse to use it here cos I still dont support the use of vulgarities but I cant really help it whenever I am really angry and pissed off. Especially with the frustration and irritated feeling I feel whenever I am angry.
I guess my family feel the worse whenever I am pissed off. Its so easy to tell cos i wont speak to them politely. And I get really agitated whenever I am angry, so it may also worsen everything. That's my bad temper. And right now blogging is a great way to express and vent my anger fuming inside me, cos I am typing everything out. Okay, maybe not anything about what has happened, but at least something here that I dont feel happy about. Who would be happy if him or her has such a bad temper. The person wont feel good either. Just like me, right here, right now.
Ah indeed it's helping me calm down cos I dont feel the urge to go punch anything now. Oh listening to music helps too. Must listen to my favourite music, not those soothing ones. Cos somehow when I am agitated and I hear those music, I will feel even more agitated. Whenever I am angry I wont have the appetite so dont bother giving food unless they are really nice and delicious. Maybe that will buy me.
At this point of time, maybe can just add in more points on my reflections some other day. I may be very straightforward at times and I dont really care how people will think about me(maybe after that then will ponder about it la). If I say what I am unhappy about a certain person or groups of people, I wont care if they hear it or not. In fact, I think its better to let them hear about it so they will know what is wrong with their attitude and behavior, or what ever I am unhappy about. I doubt anyone will change but at least the person knows.
I guess I am a very strong person when I was younger, strong emotionally. Haha now I am more strong physically then previously, definitely. I usually dont care about many things and will be more independent. Somehow things have changed. Even going down to eat, I rather go down with a friend or a group of friends, very dependent. Sounds very weird that one is becoming dependent as he grows older, but yeah maybe this is the case la. Its funny to say all these but its just what I think. Thought about it since a long long time ago, especially when there's lots of changes between pri and sec schools.
Yeap yeap. Okay feeling better now, shall blog about today then. What a boring post it is, talking about myself and how I feel. Then again, this is my blog and I write what I want. Mass media is powerful ^^.
Today is such a "waste time" day. Other than playing Stand By Me for Mrs Wong (and Mr Ng) during assembly, the rest of the day was rather slack. We will definitely miss Mrs Wong...Jasmine was reminding me how things will be so different without her here sigh. I dont want to think about it right now...
Whole of math was gone due to assembly and most bio were gone by the time we reached the class =/. Went to the student lounge after finding out math was cancelled. Played smart ass again. I suck at that game cos I am not smart haha. Bio was slack cos most of the answers were already gone through in class, chem was just copying as usual and got back chem lec test. Omg I was super shocked that I actually passed! Must thank physics cos gaseous state is the one that saved me >.<. Anyway, passing with an E is not that great, but judging and comparing to my previous test, I improved 2 grades. Yeah it tells you how bad my chem suck this year. Used to be good in it, but it unfriended me this year =((. Hope I can gain this friendship back next time...much effort must really be put in >.<. I dont know if I can do it...
Went for dance briefing and watched the dances rehearse for a while before going to macs with jq, banana and bens. Crapped a lot but mostly them doing the talking and they are really crappy and rubbish LOL! Okay jq and I are the more normal ones xD! Ate milo mcflurry becos I had lunch alr. I think if I can make my own vanilla ice cream, I can make the milo mcflurry le -.-. Its just vanilla ice cream, milo powder and milo nuggets(I dont like it cos its too sweet). It would be great if its just the ice cream and the powder LOL! Oreo is better =x. Cos I duno how to make oreo -.-. Lala.
Later fetched jq home and went home. Din noe jq live so near lol, but its not walkable from my home cos I think my legs will just die HAHA! Never noticed how nice the houses are around that area too, cos my dad always pass by the main road but never turn in.
Anyway, might be getting pissed again, so shall turn away frm this page haha! No la, maybe go other things or play games le. Byebye!
